”IO” and others
If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn’t part of ourselves doesn’t disturb us.
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
Stop comparing yourself to other people, just choose to be happy and live your own life.
The only competition that matters is the one that takes place within yourself.
Social comparison that leads to unhappiness is the downside of social media.
You make me want to be a better man.
When you gossip about another person, listeners unconsciously associate you with the characteristics you are describing, ultimately leading to those characteristics’ being “transferred” to you. So, say positive and pleasant things about friends and colleagues, and you are seen as a nice person. In contrast, constantly complain about their failings, and people will unconsciously apply the negative traits and incompetence to you.
All violence is the result of people tricking themselves into believing that their pain derives from other people and that consequently those people deserve to be punished.
Analyses of others are actually expressions of our own needs and values.
The best way to keep relationships happy, healthy, and supportive can be summed up in one word: appreciation. What you appreciate, appreciates. When we demonstrate our appreciation for the support we receive from others, it reinforces that behavior and deepens our connection to them.
No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same.
What the society thinks is of no interest to me. All that's important is how I see myself. I know who who I am. I know the value of my work.
Big people don't make people feel small.
The greatest gift you can ever give another person is your own happiness.
Authentic happiness derives from raising the bar for yourself, not rating yourself against others.
If one doesn’t respect oneself one can have neither love nor respect for others.
The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.
The more you move in rhythm with someone, the closer you become with that person.
There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness, and generosity.
Be independent of the good opinion of other people.
Let people realize clearly that every time they threaten someone or humiliate or unnecessarily hurt or dominate or reject another human being, they become forces for the creation of psychopathology, even if these be small forces. Let them recognize that every person who is kind, helpful, decent, psychologically democratic, affectionate, and warm, is a psychotheraputic force, even though a small one.
Self-improvement is the name of the game, and your primary objective is to strengthen yourself, not to destroy an opponent.
I am totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
If someone is not treating you with love and respect, it is a gift if they walk away from you. If that person doesn't walk away, you will surely endure many years of suffering with him or her. Walking away may hurt for a while, but your heart will eventually heal. Then you can choose what you really want. You will find that you don't need to trust others as much as you need to trust yourself to make the right choices.
Whatever happens around you, don't take it personally... Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.
To achieve and maintain the relationships we need, we must stop choosing to coerce, force, compel, punish, reward, manipulate, boss, motivate, criticize, blame, complain, nag, badger, rank, rate, and withdraw. We must replace these destructive behaviors with choosing to care, listen, support, negotiate, encourage, love, befriend, trust, accept, welcome, and esteem.
Stay focused instead of getting offended or off track by others.
Away with the world’s opinion of you – it’s always unsettled and divided. Away with the pursuits that have occupied the whole of your life – death is going to deliver the verdict in your case. ... It’s only when you’re breathing your last that the way you’ve spent your time will become apparent.
Perfectionism is simply putting a limit on your future. When you have an idea of perfect in your mind, you open the door to constantly comparing what you have now with what you want. That type of self criticism is significantly deterring.
Exceptional thinkers ignore their critics and go about their business making history.
True nobility isn’t about being better than someone else. It’s about being better than you used to be.
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Self-absorption in all its forms kills empathy, let alone compassion. When we focus on ourselves, our world contracts as our problems and preoccupations loom large. But when we focus on others, our world expands. Our own problems drift to the periphery of the mind and so seem smaller, and we increase our capacity for connection - or compassionate action.
Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.
A truly strong person does not need the approval of others any more than a lion needs the approval of sheep.
What others think about you is none of your business.
Look for the good in every person and every situation. You'll almost always find it.
Give up defining yourself - to yourself or to others. You won't die. You will come to life. And don't be concerned with how others define you. When they define you, they are limiting themselves, so it's their problem. Whenever you interact with people, don't be there primarily as a function or a role, but as the field of conscious Presence. You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are.
Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you.
When you are content to be simply yourself and don't compare or compete, everyone will respect you.
Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.
There is nothing stronger than gentleness.
A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.
The price of success is to bear the criticism of envy.
Our relationships will eventually grow stale unless we are diligent about directing and cultivating them.
Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.
Don't be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.
When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures bristling with prejudice and motivated by pride and vanity.
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us: power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.
Be wiser than other people if you can; but do not tell them so.
Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.
Focus less on the impression you’re making on others and more on the impression you’re making on yourself.
Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today.
Talk never goes up in price, it’s always free, and you usually get what you pay for.
People who don’t pursue their own dreams probably won’t encourage you to pursue yours.
We must overcome social- and self-oppression if we are ever to join the ranks of the free souls who love their lives and lead their people.
We must overcome social- and self-oppression if we are ever to join the ranks of the free souls who love their lives and lead their people.
Stop worrying about what others think of you. Base your thoughts, your decisions, and your goals on what you want and what is important in your life.
18–40–60 rule. It says that when you are eighteen, you worry about what everyone thinks of you; when you are forty, you don’t give a damn what anyone thinks about you; and when you’re sixty, you realize no one has been thinking about you at all.
Comparing yourself to others is really just a needless distraction. The only one you should compare yourself to is you. Your mission is to become better today than you were yesterday. You do that by focusing on what you can do today to improve and grow.
The worst troll is the one that lives in your head.
Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
Most of us tend to interpret events—whether they’re personal or impersonal—as relating to us.
Healthy striving is self-focused: "How can I improve?".
Perfectionism is other-focused: "What will they think?”
Staying vulnerable is a risk we have to take if we want to experience connection.
Look at other people and ask yourself if you are really seeing them or just your thoughts about them.... Without knowing it, we are coloring everything, putting our spin on it all.
Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.
We can feel lonely even when we’re surrounded by many people. We are lonely together. There is a vacuum inside us. We don’t feel comfortable with that vacuum, so we try to fill it up or make it go away. Technology supplies us with many devices that allow us to “stay connected.” These days, we are always “connected,” but we continue to feel lonely.
If you concentrate on having fun instead of worrying about your image, many things will work out better for you.
We have a tendency to look around at what others are doing and use them as a standard of comparison.
Don't Compete, Excel.
In excelling you save time and energy that would have been spent comparing yourself to others and fighting others, and you apply that time to being your best.
Criticism and blame are addictions. They are costly addictions, because they are the number-one destroyer of intimacy in close relationships.
Weak and overwhelmed individuals respond to others' success by attacking it.
Anyone who minimizes the importance of success to your future has given up on his or her own chances of accomplishment and is spending his or her life trying to convince others to do the same.
The moment you start thinking someone else's gain is your loss, you limit yourself by thinking in terms of competition and shortages.
Without friends, no one would want to live, even if he had all other goods.
Everyone is a mirror image of yourself—your own thinking coming back at you.
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